In Retrospect

Retrospect- this term has been largely playing in my mind off-late as there's some space for  introspection in these trying times. This could be also due to the fact that there's a single gray hair that's emerged very strong on my head(i'm deeply contemplating to turn it purple) 
First things first ,Retrospective thinking has largely made me feel positive hence this post.

Most times in life one is bogged with questions of why me,when will it ever happen or wish this ends soon. I've been there and done that kind of feeling is what you should feel if you wish to read further!

The uncertainty at that point may seem more stressful but down the line it may not . For instance during a tough talk at office , with a horrrendous temper I lashed out at first. But to my utter shock my last lines were " five months down the lane that mail may become meaningless"

Having said these statements in a fitting rage I realized the effects of those words only later to see them come true. Neither the mail nor the person seem to make any meaning anymore.

On yet another instance ,I had a high-paying career vs my little tot and I chose the latter.It wasn't an easy decision nor a very tough one but having worked for 7 long years with not much break made me appreciate a break but at the same time I yearned to be doing something more as well. I tried my hands at online-selling and I did see some bright-star days. It gave a different opportunity that I would have never chosen if I'd continued to work. And I understood that SAHM parent is different ball game altogether. It isn't easy either. In retrospect the break and career-return have been meaningful decisions in life.

After many failed attempts of setting up my own tiny-garden I gave up on idea of garden. After a lot of introspection I  bought a plant from a nursery knowing some day I'll see it as wither as all the other plants did. But with tested patience and lots of water-care the plant rewarded me with flowers. It may seem cliched incident but gardening teaches you life's most valuable lessons. Now if I've managed to paint a picture of me having a garden full of plants- you're wrong. It's just that I've one flowering plant and I've managed to keep it alive .Five years down the lane this plant may act as a retrospect bud for my then garden :-) 

In essence not everyday  will our life's curveball  seem right but always think of it in this way "Will it make any impact in 5 years down the lane - if yes  introspect else there's an always -" In hindsight,in retrospect " awaiting you . :-)

PC:Google

Tongue In Cheek - Book Review

Its been long since I blogged but dint want to miss this one for two reasons –one the book is something I wish to remember for long, two- hope to write more .

This book came to my rescue (yes you read that right) when one fine day I was fed up of office-work- constant bogging and bickering that I felt I needed to do something more soul-filling.

Long hours of FB scrolling led to this book recommendation from a long-forgotten Aunt whose post I never miss to read for she shared a loving bond with my mom.

And lo within minutes of me reading her post the Amazon cart was checked out with the kindle version of the book.

What was supposedly a book to be read when I’m bored to death became a constant for my coffee, tea, cab boarding, cab disembarking and every time I could find some me-time.

I started bragging about this book to my husband who wasn’t keen to read though.(The preface of the book was enough for him to understand that the pun was intended)

This book is simple- daily life snippets from a woman’s life with a added tadka and masala for the flavour.

It would be a great read for someone who wishes to see the humour in everyday life’s chores which otherwise seem mundane and boring.

With a great vocabulary and perfect articulation of a sing-song way of writing Currency-Note hit my funny bone with every passing chapter.

There could be so much humour from everyday life seemed breathtakingly fresh and also poignant as it broke few stereotypes that one associates with a woman! 

It is anything but a exaggerated take with literary freedom in full expression.

Steer ahead and read it if you’re married, not married and even planning to get married! It is about to set you on a joyful ride as it shows the otherwise non-glamorous side of life in a humorous tone!

PS: I'm open for such humour book recommendations 😂😄😄😄😄😄😄

The Other Side

I love shopping. It's at those times that I encounter conversations that amuse me a lot-conversations between a mom and daughter!

This time I saw a mom plead her daughter to take at least one checked kurta because she felt they were beautiful on her daughter. The daughter kept meandering away from all the suggested outfits and was trying to choose on her own. I'm no one to judge either of their choices but somewhere I was more inclined towards the mothers choice!

On yet another day while I was at the tailor I had to wait until a mom-daughter finished their arguments. The daughter wanted the length of the dress to be 2 inches above her knees while the mother wanted it at 2 inches below knee ! I saw the daughter profusely yelling that last time a dress was stitched as per mom's norms she  looked like a ghost !The tailor was struggling to make sense and settled them both at knee length. I had a hearty laugh and wondered how much fun it was to be a mute spectator.

And the other day I was busy picking innerwear and I chanced upon a daughter searching hard for bright colorful innerwear while the mother was bewildered and asking her daughter to choose something less flashy.

 Such instances gets me back thinking about those times I shopped with my mom.
We were a terrific duo when it came to shopping- my mom loved florals ,bright colors while I loved sober ,pastel and dull dresses. It was the most amusing time in life as we would take time to choose and finally settle on something we both liked. It was fun in a way but also time consuming and energy draining. But there was this part of me which always ensured that I took an outfit that would be liked by her as well. This was always after a lot of arguments and discussions on why I liked another better! I presumed that all moms had it easy and saying a NO to their daughter's whims and fancies was their most favorite job.

Times have changed , these days I pick dresses for my daughter and being a mom is the most difficult part. My good ‘Karma’ boomerangs and its more of a pleading and balancing act that I mostly fail at. My daughter has a mind of her own and not all her selections get a nod from me.

I wonder at the amount of worry, concern and after-thought every mom has while purchasing for her kid. I ponder a lot and at times almost all her choices play like the final destination movie scenes to me! (-if you know what I mean)

As much as the mother side is challenging, responsible  and mature ,I prefer playing the other side- the side of the daughter! Its fun,carefree and budget-free!

Let's talk Breasts!

This post is about one of the most overlooked aspects of female breasts. One of the primary job of a mammalian boob is to feed and this is far easier said than done. So here is my take on breastfeeding - what's the first image that pops when you think of it?

A serene mother holding a tiny human wrapped in warm towel and simply suckling. If it were this easy then it would be a cakewalk for every mother and perhaps she may no longer be revered the way she is.
I was someone who had dreamt that the first latch would be akin to the squishy feeling I felt when I had dipped my feet in the river Cauvery while many tiny fishes kept nibbling. I was right in a way,  the difference was the fish was a shark! Ah that's how the journey began.

When a child is born there are many who out of goodwill advice on feeding animal milk or concoction of herbs. Its upto the mom to choose what she wishes to feed .WHO  strictly recommends breast milk as best nutrition for a baby for the first six months. In some cases when a mother isn't making enough there could be lactating granules and other foods that help her produce enough for her baby. Each baby is different and so is the mother – what works for one baby doesn't work for another .Its best left to the mother to decide on what to feed her baby .

When a baby turns to solids post the six months mark ,the same mother is posed with doubts from people claiming breast-milk lacking nutrients ! It isn't the case and breast milk produced is specific to each baby so much that even in cases of twins the one for male baby is different from that of the female baby! The in-house production is very unique and attuned to the baby's needs. Today medical research has gone as far as finding strains of breast milk to fight diabetes and cancer! It is proven that breast milk is a living substance and every drop is full of life for the growing baby.


One of the major hassles of breastfeeding mom was confinement to their homes but today breastfeeding in public has become the norm of the day – with maternity clothing , public breastfeeding parlours and many more facilities – these are accessible and available to one and all. Let's just get back to the glorious days when breastfeeding was just a normal routine and the statues in our temples, churches and historical artefacts bear testimony to this. In simple words let's just normalise breastfeeding. 

                                        

There's so many myths that surround breastfeeding , some of the most interesting ones are - boys fed more than a year tend to get virile later in life, mom's milk is just plain water,tiny breasts produce less, a sick mom shouldn't feed her little one,milk stops at the first period postpartum! It would be best to do one's own research before buying into any of this however trustworthy the source is!

With so much information at disposal and myths from well-wishers a first time mom is torn between the right and wrong of the choices she makes .

However the good news is there's lot of avenues that are available to help a first time mother. There's BSIM, La Leche League and many more. All you need is to reach out and there's help available. Many Doctors are breastfeeding-friendly as well.

Many working moms opt to pump and create a stash that's is easily available while she's away. This helps many to juggle their jobs and also continue their passion .

The benefits of breastfeeding is countless and it isn't just to satiate a hungry baby ,it's much more. It helps the mother overcome PPD while providing best nourishment for the baby.Breastfeeding can continue to infancy and toddler-hood which helps creating healthier ,holistic better children of the future.      

On a final note , A newborn's mother is as fragile as the little one .If there's some good that you could do for her – try to just say that she's doing great and encourage her if possible. This is never the case as the mother is only looked down upon if she refuses to adhere to some myths and she's either called arrogant or ‘know-it-all'. In all goodwill she's the one whose survived the hardest to bring the life safe to the world - she'll do her best to give it the best, respect her more  even when says a ‘NO' to you.

Women have it better today with advent of technology . While there's so much talk of women empowerment , even a mother who chooses to breastfeed needs to be supported and understood better.
                           

The Small I

Hey girl, I love you and miss you the same!
How I wish I could be you with a dedicated boyfriend who loves and adores you,takes you shopping and doesn't cringe on the clock running fast,thinks and leads life like just a dream and doesn't need to bother responsibilities!
Oh those lazy  Sundays where it was just you,him ,TV,TV food and TV! (Read skip bath )!
Oh! I could do that parlor visit and spend recklessly both my time and money and groom myself better
Oh My girl how I wish I could wear that figure-hugging dress of yours and not bother about sagging assets!
And Damn those restaurants I could visit and just let the night drift slowly away with a candle light dinner,if I were you!
Those friends with whom I could boast,drool ,dream away am entire day at their place and never bother if it's day or night.
And try to do in depth research on any of my favorite topics from nirvana to the new movie running full house!

And here I'm , with little tweaks from you- young ravishing and carefree woman - a decade older with a husband and an infant!
Nothing much has changed except that shopping time depends on the little "i" in the previous sentence! Food at restaurants mean a bill that includes broken cutlery, dresses that are messed up and worst -sympathetic onlookers not at me but the little "i"

Visit to the parlor is short due to the ticking time bomb left behind at home and even if it happened to be a sweet and well behaved "i" day , my brains are now tuned to disaster mode 24*7 and normalcy is no longer the fad!

Friends are fewer and even a well planned Whatsap call is called off due to varying time zones and I can't sit later than 9 p.m with bloodshot eyes!

The worst  is beautiful, skilled saleswoman trying to stuff  me with  anti-wrinkle creams for  I'm no  longer blush- worthy!

Googling is only having the "i's" age as the keyword and super foods for the often on eating-strike "i"!

Ah the girl of my past,the old me ,here is the deal-I'm the now version of you and if you think life couldn't get screwed more , I'm loving it every bit and  will go through  all  of this again ,just for that little "i" and get better at it! Bring it on!

PC : Shutterstock 

The highway ride

Sometimes the freedom and free gush of air that could be got while driving at crazy speeds on the highway all by yourself , is what's most needed for me to keep my life's boat afloat.

I love driving and in its own way is a kind of penance for me.

So as I got home from office,
I shrugged  my identity card and laptop bag on the sofa, picked up my helmet and hit the roads.

I had no particular route in my mind and just drove by.
At first I wanted to drive on roads that I had less traveled.
In some half hour I realized that the pot-holed,muddy and dusty roads weren't my choice. They  made my ride harder and more cumbersome.

I wanted to drive at a speed I would prefer & in a road that would suit my fuming anger inside. This anger is something that wouldn't get better by sitting idle or thoughtless.

So I chose the highway - which gives me a high without much effort and began driving with a heavy heart.

So as I drove and as the music from my earphones flared ,I realized my weight become lesser and I could feel the cool air gush pass me and make me feel better. So many random thoughts passed by and every thought seemed to fade away as my speedometer raced.

Thoughts of pain, suffering, happiness, elation and much more - all assuming a new meaning as I drove along.

Somewhere deep inside the thought of being free , far from the worldly troubles seemed to make more sense and at moments made me reflect on all that I had missed due to my mind being over crowded.

With the sole intent of only thinking   to live that moment for my own self and to be selfish enough to let go of all random, trivial thoughts gave me , my freaky self .

At the end of my journey I chose the usual mucky muddy route just to see if I had the irritable me - like I was in the beginning

I neither had the trouble of unnecessary stressful thoughts nor the burden of everyday trivial affairs that ruin my otherwise peaceful self.

The highway or the muddy road were just roads - it's my desires and perceptions  that made me choose the highway or the other road.
Likewise troubles or otherwise were reflections of my perception about them .

- from diaries of the highway rider

Life - a thought process

Some days just pass by and while reflecting on old conversations and photos ,it makes me think that life  is beautiful indeed !

 Sometimes it's an odd mix of pain ,sufferings and happiness that show us true colors of the ones that are meant to stay with us for long in this mad rush of the friends and stayers.

I could pick a handful of people who had all along been with me (seen the pro and flip side of me ) and still re-instill my faith  in life while others whose very presence is a start of misery.

Despite all the negatives in the world and doomsday cliches , life still continues to be a bewilderment for me .

In Frost's own words

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."

Life goes on no matter if your Tuesday was the worse and the following Thursday is supposed to be a miraculous one.

It's just another day for some while it's yet another day for others.

One's own selfishness could push him/her for the next failure or fears drive him/her to next success or vice versa but what if both mean the same at the end of the game?

Life's game is best played when one could appreciate the crests and troughs likewise but it would mean a whole process of refinement and one's never ready for it.

 At the end of the game that all of us played thus long is just another beginning and the game continues on- the eerie story of after life continues.

And so does my thought process ...