To Be or Not be .... Guilty ?

For the first time in her  life Rhea had to bear the brunt of her ego. Least did her ego let her think even for a second IF she could handle his problem or even provide some concrete solution for him..Writing couple of love stories and fantasy stories gave her the thought she could surpass anyone's problem.. How ridiculous she was !

Kaju as he is fondly called by all his friends called upon Rhea at office one day stating he needed a solution for his problem.
Kaju was her colleague at office . Kaju had read the love stories  Rhea had written in her blog and felt that she could help him best.

 Least did Rhea expect the gravity of the story nor that her decision would be vital in changing his perception .

Kaju walked upto Rhea and said "Madam I have an appointment with you for today's lunch and I pray hope to have you for the whole one hour.. You are always too busy!!"

Rhea  said " Heyy com'on.. I'm not busy ...  What have you brought for  lunch ?..I've got.. "
Kaju interrupted " Ahem.. no lunch no food... just you me and my problem... Please know that your not eating whilst I speak... I might break down Rhea.. so .."
Rhea could hear her tummy giving all possible remixes on hearing "no lunch" but she chose to honour Kaju's wishes and dint eat whilst he spoke.

"It all started when I was in my tenth grade! I have never had any  interest in women other than my own. I have a wonderful mom and three sisters. To me they were the best , out of this world until the day she came by.
She was in fifth grade".

Rhea giggled instantly because she thought this was more like from a film that is very famous . Kaju dint like her reaction and she stopped giggling after a while.

" I'm not like you "city-bred" people. I hail from a village in Karnataka - Adagodi in Shimoga district.. My girl- She had participated in a dance contest and she had won the first place . She  had won my heart too.I had a fondness for her from that day. Maybe infatuation as you may call it but it was more than that. I knew this feeling was for keeps. I used to sleep at  night dreaming of her. I guess they were the best part of my young adulthood.....
My dad is a farmer and he always believed that one day I would make him proud. I don't know IF I can ever...."

Rhea interrupted "Heyy Kaju relax .. take a deep breath and start over .. I feel we're at a miss somewhere..what happened to your fifth grade lover ?"

"I cherished her in my mind  and dreamt of life with her all the time. There was no dating, meeting stuff but my feelings for her were true. When I completed my PG I got a decent job and approached my dad seeking his permission for my marriage with her.
My dad readily agreed. I was overwhelmed and the initial talks began. My dad went to their house and asked her hand for me. IT was almost like a fairy tale! "

My eyes widened when he said "fairy-tale" and I eagerly listened on.
"Her dad and mom rejected the offer but! "
He paused for almost ten minutes before Rhea could get him to talk.
"It was not the end .... When her mother asked my dad to suggest other prospective grooms for their daughter, my dad felt ashamed in his life for the first time for being my dad . Yet , my dad being the good-man he is promised to tell them if 

When my dad broke the news to me I realized that my desires was never going to be fulfilled and I was heart broken. I took to smoking and it in a way seemed to burn  my already burnt heart."


Rhea rebuked him " Kaju this is no excuse for you to smoke .. Quit it baba ... and I've been telling you to do so for the past three years !! "

"I just wish I could Rhea... You can never understand how hard I try to . I now stand in front of you as someone who is way beyond in his control. My life is ruined!"

"I never expected my otherwise love story to take such a strange twist of fate . In one of my cousin's wedding I once again had the chance to see her and I was bowled over again . She was amazing . My cousin told that she favoured my feelings too.
I was in cloud nine. I realised that a better work , better lifestyle could always get her . I worked harder. I became the leader for my team in my earlier firm . Her thoughts drove me to become the best. I accepted only the best part of me and I no longer accepted "the average me "
There came a day when her dad  came to my home seeking his daughter's groom in me. The best day of my life it was! "

Rhea freaked " Wow that s soo nice Kaju.. saying no first and yes next time must have got u in cloud nine , ten and eleven right ?"
Kaju continued " I was speechless Rhea. I just got everything I needed but ...."
Kaju went mute for almost half hour and Rhea realised that it was very tough to handle men who go silent when in pain.

"It all fell in place if not for that Dayan! That F**** B****.. Allahhhhhhh  !!! ... There was this lady who is our neighbour . I just wish she went dumb for that one day. 
She told my parents that my girl has an affair with someone and  spoilt it all.. It may sound stupid but it did Rhea.. and the life that I dreamt went to waters.
I have no clue as to why  she spun  such a story ..... my girl's name was shamed at my home... .. The whole world changed that day Rhea.. I ....

My dad rebuked me for choosing such a woman and my explanations were useless . He would never agree that my girl's heart was only mine . The devil had played his cards well and I stood testimony for his game.. Many months of convincing, talks and threats bear no use. There came a day when I had to make a choice
A tough one - either my family or her. I had to ...To the whole world my dad seemed villain and to me my hero trying to protect me.... I regret that day till this moment.. The  story of my dad working hard day in and day out ran like a movie in my mind and I had decided it as a NO to her... I gave up on her.. I ..."

He paused before correcting himself " I dint give up but  told her to move on as I realized my dad would never be happy with her at home . She would suffer if she was mine.. I had to give in.. I ... I did it for her.. I never got to see her ever.. I'm sure she will never know of this nor understand me... She is happy now.. She married someone else after 2 years of painful wait .... She is happy but me ??? the guilt.. the feeling in the gut kills me Rhea! Just kills me.. I did all I could to ...forget.. but the eerie nights just remind me that I had spent one more day without her.."


Kaju wanted to know IF he was ever wrong in his actions and questioned Rhea almost fifteen times "Am i wrong Rhea ?" . Rhea couldn't answer  but just shook her head stating  " You are a great son .. you will be a great father..."